.png)
7 HELPFUL TIPS!
It’s been a year!
This time last year I was packing up my life and saying goodbye to my friends in Turkey, a place that had been my home for 6 years. I have also realised that exactly one year to the date that I got on that plane to leave with my life packed into 2 suitcases, I will be casually getting on a plane to Bali, a place that I always saw on TV and social media and never dreamed I would be visiting!
Needless to say, I am counting my blessings! But also thanking myself for taking yet another leap in my life, being patient with and trusting the process for my journey.
As I sit here reminiscing, I’m thinking about the Lucy I was then and everything I was thinking, feeling and experiencing back then, it was A LOT! That time was particularly challenging and highly stressful for a number of reasons, but it has inspired me to write with the hopes that this will reassure you that even in those times of the biggest worries and the highest moments of anxiety and stress whilst teetering on the verge of a big life change - you CAN and WILL get through it!
Keep reading for those TIPS BELOW!
Anxiety, fear, worry, guilt, stress, apprehension, sadness and loss, along with anticipation, excitement and joy are all natural emotions to be feeling when going through a big life transition. Whether that be the end of a relationship, changing/losing your job, moving home or country, getting married/starting a new relationship, hitting a milestone birthday, leaving school/uni, having a child.
Let’s face it, life transitions are complicated and sometimes unpredictable experiences! As we drastically shift from feelings of guilt and sadness to excited anticipation, back to anxiety and overwhelm, it can feel like we are on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster! And although this array of conflicting emotions are perfectly healthy and natural, at the time they can feel utterly confusing, exhausting and leave you questioning if you are losing the plot!
Even for me knowing this as a therapist, this knowledge and understanding didn’t stop the rollercoaster of emotions I encountered last year. I knew I had to ride that rollercoaster and allow myself to feel those emotions, but I kept reassuring myself that it was all perfectly normal to feel how I felt and tried to be as patient with the process as I could. I remember repeating this affirmation over and over again to get me through:
“I am managing the best I can, all of my emotions are valid and natural, I let them be without judgement. I will get through this one day at a time.”
Affirmations are helpful to reduce stress, self-doubt and judgement, enhance mindfulness, affirm your abilities and strengths and cultivate a more positive mindset to move through the transition with more ease.
Here are some other helpful tips to help you get through big life changes and transitions:
BREATHE
I know during times like these it can feel all go go go! But it is so important to stop once in a while and just breathe. Take a few big deep breaths and ground yourself in the moment. Give yourself time to catch your breath, helping to slow your heart rate, ease your anxiety and stress and physically rejuvenate to be able to keep going.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EMOTIONS
Allow them to come without trying to get rid of them, get curious about them rather than judging how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. Recognize how you are feeling and take time and space to process and reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Even if they are contradictory, explore the contradictions and give them all a place to be.
HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ABOUT CHANGE
You may feel confident that the change you are experiencing is the best thing for you, or maybe you pride yourself for being a strong and resilient person, able to get through anything! Even so, no change is easy, no matter how positive it may be or how strong you are, it is important to also be realistic that it may take a while to adjust to a new reality and that there may be things that pop up that you didn’t expect. It’s more realistic to expect it to be challenging and face it with courage than to put pressure on yourself to handle everything ‘perfectly as you should’ (urgh i really do hate that word!). THERE ARE NO ‘SHOULDS’ IN HOW YOU HANDLE CHANGES AND TRANSITIONS!
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME
Or even 1 hour at a time if needed! Move at a pace that suits you. Sometimes looking at the big picture of everything that you are having to manage through the transition you are making can be incredibly overwhelming. I remember having everything I still practically needed to do sorted in my head, but that along with the emotions of everything else felt overwhelming to think of as a whole. All I had the capacity for was what I needed to do THAT day and the emotions that came with it for that day. Thinking about EVERYTHING I had to do and manage in the whole week leading up to leaving along with the exhaustion I was feeling was like there were just too many tabs open on a computer and it going into overdrive! Make it easier for yourself….One or two tabs at a time!
PRACTICE SELF-CARE
You should be doing this on a daily basis anyway (if not, check out my Instagram or Facebook pages to help you get into the habit), nevertheless, during times of big changes it is even more essential. Just as you would check in with a friend going through an overwhelming time, do the same with yourself. Are you taking care of your needs? Are you sleeping enough? Eating well? Are you showing yourself compassion for how you are feeling and what you are going through? Talk to yourself kindly and do more of the things that bring you joy whenever you can. I made sure that in my final days of packing and sorting I made time to be social and present with my friends whilst also giving myself snippets of time to rest and breathe wherever I could.
UTILISE THE LOVE & SUPPORT OF THOSE WHO GENUINELY WANT TO HELP
You do not have to do this alone. Whether the change you are going through has been thrust upon you, or you have chosen it, having the physical and emotional support of those who want to see you win will not only help the process go smoother but will also benefit your well-being.
CONNECT WITH PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT
Though there are many helpful things that you can do to support yourself through big life changes and transitions, seeking therapy or specific coaching is great for holding a dedicated space for you to explore your feelings, thoughts and emotions with someone else without judgement but with guidance and care. If you struggle with self-care and self-compassion seeking professional support can help develop healthier tools, routines and coping strategies to navigate the changes you are going through, whilst also working on yourself and your growth through the process and how you want to move forward into your new life.
Are you currently going through a big life change or transition?
I really do hope this helps!
I have been through my fair share and each one has hit differently!
Just keep doing your best and allow what is to be.
If you feel that you could do with some extra support and guidance click HERE to book in a free call!
I OFFER 1:1 COACHING & THERAPY
Email me or visit my website for information regarding my 1:1 offer and available packages.
Like this email? Subscribe to my email list HERE
Regularly bringing joy, light & insight directly to your inbox!
With Gratitude & Joy Always
LUCY JOY
Comments